It was inevitable it would happen, I just didn't expect it to happen quite so quickly.
When I woke up early Thursday morning, the first day of school with students, I attributed everything I felt to that first day of school feeling. I did notice upon waking that my nose was a little stuffed, but it passed by the time I was ready to go, and it was the first day with a lot to do. I didn't really have the luxury of noticing anything.
When I got home after school and I had a sore throat I couldn't be sure that it wasn't just the stress of talking all day. At the same time, the worry began. Am I getting a cold? Could it be something more? What do I do?
By about 9 in the evening, I had to accept that given the current state of the world, even though it was only the second day of school, I was showing "symptoms" and might not be able to go to school the next day.
But even as I texted my first go-to sub to put her on call for the morning, I was hoping everything would be fine and I could just get up and go to school. I was so optimistic, I just went to sleep instead of writing up the plan for the day.
I woke up around 6:30 a.m., and considering it was early in the morning on the Friday of the first week of school, I felt "fine." It was a beautiful morning, and as I had coffee, I responded to the text from my sub that it didn't matter that she had an appointment, because I was going to school.
I went outside, as it was nice enough, and felt pretty good as I started my yoga practice. When I finished about 40 minutes later, I noticed that while I still felt "okay," I also couldn't really breathe. It certainly wasn't terrible, and I have definitely felt much sicker, but I couldn't deny that my nose was stuffed up and the soreness in my throat hadn't really disappeared overnight. It wasn't extreme, but it was definitely there.
It did not take long for me to assess the situation and recognize I really had no choice. I was showing "symptoms," and while it was likely just a little cold, it was not for me to make that call.
Instead I called my second got-to sub (I am lucky to have 5) and I was grateful when I knew he was able to come in to classroom. It took me about 90 minutes to write up the plan for the day, including the detailed introductory assignment that would not have been necessary if it was me in my classroom, but was easy enough to do. I knew between my sub and my teaching partner everything would be fine in my classroom for the day. I was just sorry I couldn't be there.
In the moments I spent noticing how I felt and considering my choices, I couldn't help but chuckle. I have always been in favour of proactive health care. Had it been the middle of winter I would not have considered going to school knowing the best way to get rid of a cold is to nip it in the bud. Any other year, on the second day of school, feeling mostly fine, it would be unlikely I would have even considered staying home, especially on the first Friday when I knew I had the weekend ahead to rest.
But these are circumstances like no other, and I could not go to school in good conscience. Even though I was pretty sure it was just a cold, I knew I couldn't be the one to make the call. I couldn't go to school knowing I had "symptoms" and just hope it was nothing, especially if my decision, and my potential error, put others at risk. Today a case of the sniffles could be life and death.
I knew I was making the right choice as I followed up with the screening tool on HealthLinks. I also knew I just couldn't sit around and wait to see if the symptoms would pass and assume everything was okay. I would have to go for a test.
Luckily there is a testing site nearby, and when I arrived at about 10:15 a.m., the line was only a few blocks away from the parking lot entrance. It didn't seem too long even though the first attendant I met informed me it would take about 2 and a half hours and that there were no public washrooms. She asked if I was okay with that, and I responded that I sure hoped so because I didn't imagine it would be any better later.
The line actually moved pretty quickly. I was in the car, and even though I sat in park, I didn't want to use my phone. I passed the time surfing through the 400 SiriusXM channels to set up the music system in the rental I am driving, which is another story involving an open sunroof, a rainstorm, and an MPI claim, and then dancing in my seat as I flipped through my chosen stations.
As I approached the parking lot I realized that the line split in two, and while the outside line seemed to move more quickly, the inside line was much shorter, so that is the one I chose. I was pleasantly surprised by the continuous movement of the line and within about 45 minutes I was already well into the parking lot and on my way to the door.
Even with some sort of delay, which briefly closed one lane causing both lines to merge, the system in place was organized and pretty efficient. By 11:30 or so I was driving up to the entrance of the MPI building ready for my turn. The person who took my information had noted I was an educator, requesting quicker results, and I knew I was nearly done.
When I pulled up to the building, having been directed to put my information in the window and keep them closed, I pulled into the stall to be met by two lovely, smiling nurse practitioners. It was challenging to hear all their instructions through their masks and the closed windows, but I figured out how to hold my Manitoba Health card properly so they could see the numbers and get down all the information they needed.
Then they explained that the test would be quick and uncomfortable. I should expect a burning in my nose, which was exactly what I felt, as I held my head back and she stuck the swab up my nasal passage. It was over in about 20 seconds.
At least the test was. Then began the waiting. While the attendant said they expedite results for educators, as well as other essential workers, the nurse practitioner also mentioned it could take as long as Monday, so not to panic if the results weren't there over the weekend.
I guess they do this to mitigate issues if there are delays, as they call people with positive results, while negative results are available online. I guess it is preferable to know the worst case, just as I prefer to be told I will wait longer, only to be let out more quickly. I was pleasantly surprised with the short time the test took, and I was hoping it would be the same with the results.
While I waited, I noticed my waiting. I was 99.99% sure it was nothing, and I just had a little cold, the "What Ifs?" still crept in, because the reality is, it is possible. The virus is everywhere.
While I waited, I waited at home. On Friday, my partner did all the shopping for my parents. He kept extra distance from them, just in case. My partner and I tried to keep a little distance, but we live in a small house with one bathroom, so realistically it is challenging. We did our best and figured we would cross the bridge if we had to.
Luckily, we didn't have to. On Saturday afternoon, I checked the website. I figured 24 hours had passed. I was already feeling better, and maybe my results would be in. The process was easy to follow and I was very relieved to see the word "Negative" by my name. My parents were the first to hear the news and my colleagues followed.
I'm not sure what I would have done had I received a positive result. I guess there would have been a process to follow and I am very grateful I don't have to learn about it now.
I'm also not sure what, or if, I would have written. I had the story in my head, but I am not sure how I would feel sharing it had the results been positive.
I am sharing it now because I know how important testing is. I also know how stigmas work and we cannot afford stigma when it comes to testing.
I am also left wondering how many more times I will have to do this this year? I am not prone to illness, but it certainly happens. How many more times, if I have to go get tested with every sore throat and stuffed nose? Will I have to sit in my car for 90 minutes or more when it is -40 and I have a cold worse than the one today?
And how do I know others are doing their part? I trust my colleagues will stay home and get tested, as it seems part of our professional obligation, as well as social responsibility, but how can I be certain?
Even more disconcerting, if students are being sent to school so parents can go to work, then how can I be certain parents are able to keep their children at home and get them tested?
It seems to me that part of the plan for having every student and staff from K-8 in the classroom full time should include extensive testing with the same quick results I received. The peace of mind would be well worth the cost.
Without the negative result I would not be heading back to school tomorrow.
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